Friday, September 25, 2009


She was running, and running. The goal was close in sight shining shimmering full of light. She could her labored breathing of her attacker. She could keep this pace up as long as she felt like flying through the midnight grass. The ball was wiring in the grass so soft and peaceful that you could just barley hear it go. Then she was falling, falling hard and fast with nothing to stop her. How could this happen. She had been in the mode ready to kick and then she was on the ground clutching her leg and moaning, wondering why this had to happen to her. Everyone was racing on to the field and the world blacked out. She could remember no more and then she was gone.


  1. I liked the effect of the whole thing. It really got me in the picture and feeling what was happening. Really good.

  2. i like the way you really used description made want to read the whole thing

  3. Really liked how it started out with sort of a happy feel and then it ends with her blacking out. Very effective.